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Fun gifts!

While it's really up to the Bride to provide you with a list of people she'd like you to invite to the Bridal Shower and Bachelorette Party, it can't hurt for you to know the basic etiquette rules. In case the Bride is unclear, her well informed Maid of Honor can step in and save her from making any wrong moves. Here's the rundown on who you should and shouldn't invite to these two pre-wedding events.

Bridal Shower Guest List

The Maid of Honor CAN Invite...

• A smaller subset of the women who will also be invited to the wedding.
• The Mothers of the Bride and the Groom and any female relations who live locally.
• Try to invite primarily people you think might go. An invitation means they have to send a gift (even if they don't attend). Be polite and don't invite long distance relatives (unless, of course, the Bride tips off the Maid of Honor that certain relatives will be offended not to be invited).
• All the females in the bridal party, including Bridesmaids and Readers.

The Maid of Honor should NOT Invite...

• Anyone who is not also being invited to the wedding. It's rude to ask someone for a gift who will not even be done the honor of being invited to the wedding.
• While it may be tempting to invite the Bride's coworkers who will not be invited to the wedding, don't. Although they can be invited to the Bachelorette Party.
• Anyone the Maid of Honor or Bride think will almost certainly not attend.
• The female wedding officiant (unless she's a friend of the family). If she does a lot of weddings, she is too busy to attend all Bridal Showers! Don't put her in an awkward position.

Bachelorette Party Guest List

The guest list for the Bachelorette Party is much less limited by etiquette restrictions than that for the Bridal Shower, but the number of invitees will probably still be smaller. The Maid of Honor should probably skip the Mothers of the Bride and Groom and anyone significantly older than herself and the Bride. There are certainly exceptions to the rule, but this is the general gist.

It is acceptable, though, for the Maid of Honor to invite the Bride's coworkers and other local friends who might not have been invited to the wedding because of limited reception space or because of money issues. No one is expected to bring a gift to the Bachelorette Party (although guests should be willing to chip in to pay for the Bride's food, drink, and other goodies).

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