Maid of Honor Dilemma: What if you don't like the Groom?

This is one of those truly horrible Maid of Honor problems that can wreak havoc between the best of female pals. You've got to tread very carefully with a major issue like this. That being said, the first thing you should do is ask yourself why you don't like the Groom. Before opening any unclosable cans of worms, it's important for the Maid of Honor to figure out exactly why she doesn't favor the Groom.

Does the Groom treat his Bride-to-Be badly? Does he abuse her physically or verbally? If the Groom exhibits any kind of sign that he's abusing the Bride, the Maid of Honor must speak up. Most of the reasons a Maid of Honor dislikes her friend's beau, however, are a lot less clear cut and require some serious reflection before taking any action.

Sometimes a Maid of Honor's judgement can be a bit clouded in the face of her close friend's marital bliss. Is it at all possible that you're jealous of your friend's exciting new status? Or do you think that the Groom may act badly toward you because he's jealous of your super strong female bond? Or is there just a large personality gap between the Groom and Maid of Honor? Just because he's not right for you doesn't mean he's not perfect for the Bride.

You might decide that you have good reason to distrust the Groom. Perhaps he has no job and is spending all of the Bride's money. Or maybe he's been making nasty comments to the Maid of Honor or other Bridesmaids when the Bride's not around. Worst of all, maybe you have solid proof he's been cheating. Whatever the rationale, if you truly think the Bride may be making a mistake, this is the time to approach her about it.

Now, first of all, if the Maid of Honor was so concerned about this guy, why not take the chance to speak up before they were engaged? If you already did and the Bride rejected your friendly advice, there's nothing more for you to do. If the Maid of Honor has so far been silent, it may be important to talk to the Bride sooner rather than later.

You must know that however sensitively you approach her, the Bride is not going to like what you have to say. The Maid of Honor stands the chance of losing a really good friend by speaking up. If you think it's your duty to protect your wonderful friend, just know the possible consequences.

On the other hand, if and when the Maid of Honor decides that the Groom isn't so bad after all or that she is not going to say anything to the Bride for whatever reason, it's time to shut up, smile, and move on. Don't become a passive aggressive Maid of Honor whose insipid negativity dampens the happiness of the wedding. Make the decision to talk to your friend or forever hold your peace.

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