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Does the Maid of Honor usually have a different dress than the other bridesmaids? What about the Maid of Honor's bouquet?

Whether the Maid of Honor is designed to physically stand out from the other bridesmaids through her dress or flowers is up to the Bride. I've attended weddings where the Maid of Honor looked completely different, and others where the Maid of Honor was dressed exactly the same. If you, the Maid of Honor, have a preference, you could certainly let the Bride know.

Which title should you use if you're married, Maid of Honor or Matron of Honor?

A Maid of Honor is traditionally (and by definition) unmarried, while a Matron of Honor is married. However, if you're married but feel like Matron of Honor sounds too old, it's commonly accepted to call yourself Maid of Honor anyway. After all, the bridesmaids can be married!

What if the Bride chose a horrible orange and pink polka dot Maid of Honor dress with fuchsia feathers on each shoulder? Does the Maid of Honor have any say?

Well, yes and no. The best thing a Maid of Honor can do to avoid this unfortunate hideous Maid of Honor dress situation is to be proactive, involved with the Maid of Honor dress selection from the beginning. Volunteer to go dress shopping with the Bride. She'll appreciate your enthusiasm and likely take your sage Maid of Honor advice.

If it's too late and the Bride has already chosen the Maid of Honor dress from hell, you could try to suggest other possibilities, but if the Bride insists there's not much else you can do. Perhaps you could find a nice tasteful wrap to wear over that, um, "unique" Maid of Honor dress (during the reception at least).

What if you're a long-distance Maid of Honor? How can you be a good Maid of Honor even though you can't be present for every cake tasting?

I was actually a long-distance Maid of Honor and had a long-distance Maid of Honor when I was a Bride (not a coincidence!) and it can be done. First, make sure you have plenty of cell phone minutes so that you can still give all that fantastic Maid of Honor advice. Second, realize that local Bridesmaids will need to fill in for a long-distance Maid of Honor, but that you can still fulfill the most important Maid of Honor responsibility, moral support for the Bride.

Finally, to be a successful long-distance Maid of Honor you'll need to coordinate closely with the Bride and other Bridesmaids, and be willing to fly/drive/take the train out to the Bride's home at least two or three times (Bridal Shower, Bachelorette Party, wedding, etc.). If you absolutely cannot afford this, you might want to express your concerns to the Bride.

What if the Bride's best friend is male? Can he be her Maid of Honor?

Friendship may know no gender, but your average guy may not want to wear a Maid of Honor dress! There are a couple of possibilities for a male Maid of Honor. First, the male Maid of Honor could technically be a groomsman instead and the Bride could have a female Maid of Honor stand in for him (or be co-Maid of Honor). Alternatively, I've heard of a male Maid of Honor dressing in a suit or tuxedo (which could match the Best Man...or not) and standing with the Bridesmaids. It mostly comes down to what both the male Maid of Honor and the Bride are comfortable and happy with. For more detailed advice, read Advice for Male Maids of Honor.

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