What Not to Say in your Maid of Honor Speech

Once you become Maid of Honor, everyone and their dog will have recommendations for you from what to do at the Bridal Shower, how much Bachelorette Party strippers should cost, and yes, what to say in your Maid of Honor speech. What people probably won't tell you is what not to say in your speech. What may be funny to the Maid of Honor and Bride in private may not be ideal for public consumption. But what are the limits? How do you draw the line between funny reminisces and stories that will make the Bride's future Mother-in-Law wonder how you could possibly have been chosen Maid of Honor? The following taboo speech topics may seem like common sense, but in your desperate writer's block who knows what might seem like a good idea! When inappropriate inspiration rears its ugly head, just be sure to steer clear of these not so honorable Maid speech topics!

Drunken Tales of Debauchery

Tempting though they may be, the Maid of Honor and Bride's shared drinking experiences should be left out of the speech. A wedding, while it includes dancing, drinking, kissing, and hopefully some in-depth conversation with the cute Best Man, is still a PG-13 occasion. It's designed to be a lot of fun, but at heart it's a solemn ceremony in which the Bride and Groom commit to each other for a lifetime. Don't stray too far away from that.

Ex-boyfriends, Ex-girlfriends, Ex-flings, Ex-dogs

Okay, the Maid of Honor could probably get away with a reference to an ex-dog in her speech, but as a general rule it's a good idea to avoid anything "ex." This is assuming you want to stay on good terms with the Bride and Groom, and their happily ignorant parents. Don't dredge up anything the Bride wouldn't be comfortable talking about around her in-law's dinner table!

Sex Life: Bride and Groom's, Maid of Honor's, or Anyone Else's

While, if you really have to, you could probably get away with a subtle reference to the honeymoon (if very tastefully done), the Maid of Honor speech should not include any mention of the happy couple's (or anyone else's) adventurous sex life. Seriously. Save the sex chats for some girl talk after the honeymoon!

Funny Versus Embarrassing

As a general guideline, the Maid of Honor should just remember that there's a fine but very important line between funny and embarrassing. And it's better to err on the side of caution. The Maid of Honor speech is no time to embarrass the Bride, Groom, or anyone else unless it's to make them blush with compliments. With these taboo subjects in mind, your Maid of Honor speech is sure to cause tears of joy and not fearsome glares of discomfort or disapproval.

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